


Hold My Hand

by Writing_will_be_my_death



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Confessions, Fluff, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Meteorstuck, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Panic Attacks, Quadrant Blurring, Quadrant Confusion, cross-quadrant relationship, implied internalized homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:21:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_will_be_my_death/pseuds/Writing_will_be_my_death
Summary: A stupid fun time in cantown takes an unexpected turn.





	Hold My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of my other unfinished work. I am the worst.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and your hobbies include reading Alternian romance novels to Dave, watching Alternian rom coms with Dave, watching human rom coms with Dave, expanding cantown with the mayor and Dave, frolicking about the meteor like a dumb wriggler with Dave, and pretty much doing anything and everything with Dave. Now, you know any outsider would look at you two and immediately believe that at least one of you had a crush on the other, and they’d be right.

You, Karkat Vantas, have a crush on Dave Strider. You are the fool who cannot keep a friendship normal. Either the other person thinks you’re an annoying fuck head, which you are, or you develop romantic feelings for them. Or, occasionally, both.

Currently, you are attempting to watch a cinematic masterpiece, but it’s kind of hard to when Dave has draped himself over your lap. Seriously, how does he expect you to focus when the entire weight of his torso is on your lap. He’s not even paying attention to the movie, he’s playing some dumb game on his non-organic palmhusk. 

If he was a troll, he wouldn’t be in this position. You’d only ever trust a quadrant mate with this kind of vulnerability, and even them it’d really only be your moirail. As a matter of fact, this position is indeed a pure pale position, which is why it’s so fucking confusing that it’s giving you pale *and* flushed feelings. Suppressing purrs and chirps is getting kind of difficult.

Why can’t this asshole just make you feel things in one quadrant if he’s going to be like this. Seriously, fuck him.

Oh god, now you’ve added pitch to the mix. You want to die.

“Move, you bulge for a thinkpan, I need to take a piss,” You say, attempting to abscond from the scene.

“Cool,” Dave replies, and rolls off you onto the floor, “you want me to pause the movie?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Yeah, you might not be coming back. These purrs and chirps are getting harder to suppress.

You’re out of the room before you can hear Dave’s reply, and you dash to the bathroom. Closing the door behind you, you hide in the ablution trap and let your purrs and chirps go free. It doesn’t feel as nice as it would if Dave was here to snuggle with, or kiss, but it’s still better than keeping it in. 

Actually, you might be harming your body. You aren’t sure though. You know trolls aren’t supposed to purr and chirp at the same time, as they belong in pale and flushed relationships respectively. Yet here you are, fucking up your culture by doing both at the same time.

The failure is you.

That thought stops any positive ones from sprouting in your thinkpan, and by extension stops your purrs and chirps. You figure it’s probably safe to go back to Dave now.

~

When you get back to movie room, Dave is sitting on the couch using his arm to prop up his head. Unfortunately, he fell asleep, and now his hand is also pushing up his shades, allowing you to see one closed eye.

You sit down next to him so that when he wakes up you won’t be able to see his eye, you know he’s sensitive about that.

“Dave,” You say as you poke his side.

He jumps awake, then turns his head to look at you. His shades have fallen back into place.

“Oh, hey,” He replies, “I’ll unpause the movie.”

“No,” You smack his hand away from reaching for your husktop, “you are going to go back to your respite block, and get some fucking sleep. You don’t think I didn’t notice your little nap there?”

“Hmm…” Dave replies. You don’t think he actually heard what you said. God, he’s pitiful and infuriating at the same time.

“Dave!” You yell, and lightly tap his shoulder.

“Hmmyeah?”

“Go to your respite block.”

“Why?” He sounds genuinely confused.

“Because you are fucking falling asleep at every second, you human bulge obsessed pink monkey!” You just want him to sleep in a comfortable position.

“Oh,” Dave replies, seemingly lost in thought almost, “sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, just… get some sleep.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dave says, and he gets up and saunters out the room.

You realize now you have nothing to do. You could watch the movie, but you’ve seen it a million times. You really only watch movies so you can spend time with Dave. Actually, you only do anything to spend time with Dave. It’s not like there’s anything else to do.

You decide to head back to your respite block. Maybe sleeping is the activity you need to do. Dave is sleeping after all, maybe thinking about the fact that you two are doing the same activity will help you feel less alone.

Wow, do you really need Dave in every aspect of your life just to function? Even Eridan would be disgusted by your bullshit. You don’t understand why Dave still hangs out with you, even when you were trying to help him you insulted him, definitely not something friends would do, let alone quadrant mates.

You walk into your respite block and fall onto your human bed. Dave alchemized it for you a while back when he found out you were sleeping on piles, and deemed piles far too uncomfortable for sleeping. You’re not sure if it’s the bed, or the fact that Dave gave it to you that’s helping you sleep.

~

You wake up to a barrage of texts making your palmhusk and husktop ding incessantly. It’s probably Dave. You smile at that thought.

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

TG: hey  
TG: karkat  
TG: dude  
TG: bro  
TG: kaaaaaaarkat  
TG: my main man  
TG: karkles  
TG: karkrab  
TG: Car-cat  
TG: kitkat  
TG: dude are you seriously asleep  
TG: oh shit you are arent you  
TG: fuck i shouldnt have texted you youre probably awake now all like dave what the fuck i was sleeping you know i never fucking sleep  
TG: so yeah sorry about that but i just got the best fucking idea for cantown you have no idea it is the fucking bomb citizens will be talking about it for ages theyll write sonnets about this shit i kid you not dude everyone will love it i promise  
TG: i think the only person who wont like it is vriska but itll be obvious why once you answer me and i explain this shit to you although on second thought vriska might find it amusing so im not really sure if we should show it to her but it might not matter i dunno if terezi makes her come to cantown i havent asked the mayor if they come around maybe ill do that once we get to cantown  
TG: wait  
TG: does the mayor even know vriska by name  
TG: shit i dont know if he does  
TG: if he doesnt were not telling him ok the dude doesnt need to know the pains of vriskas existence seriously fuck her  
TG: maybe this is a bad idea  
TG: ok so dont answer me  
TG: actually wait no do answer me seriously i have nothing else to do  
TG: maybe we can still do the shit i had in mind and just not tell anyone  
TG: hell yeah that sounds like a fucking plan fuck yeah im a genius  
CG: OH MY GOD YOU SHIT HEAD NOOK LICKER.  
CG: CAN YOU NOT SPEND FIVE FUCKING MINUTES WITHOUT MY IMMEDIATE ATTENTION?  
CG: ONE MIGHT ASSUME WITH ALL YOUR TALK OF HOW “COOL” YOU ARE THAT YOU WOULDN’T NEED ANY FRIENDS.  
CG: BUT HERE YOU ARE, ABUSING MY SIGHT ORBS WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUSLY STUPID WORDS.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT.  
TG: you  
TG: me  
TG: cantown  
TG: now  
CG: ??????

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

Well, it looks like you’re going to cantown. Not that you’re complaining though, the mayor will be there, and everyone loves the mayor. Dave will also be there, and you love Dave.

Wait, isn’t a declaration of love some huge thing in human culture? Fuck, it is, isn’t it? Maybe you just mean that friend love, the one that Dave is always talking about for the mayor. Who are you kidding, you totally mean the romantic love and it is going to be the death of you.

You rush over to cantown, eating some human triangular crunches that Dave usually eats. When you get there, Dave is already drawing with the mayor over in a quieter part of cantown.

“What the everloving fuck are you doing all the way over there?” You shout.

“Finally building the intersection of ‘Vriska’ and ‘Serket’,” Dave shouts back.

“What the fuck? Why?”

“Okay, so,” Dave starts, and walks towards you, “you know how we’re always telling Vriska that whatever shit she’s saying isn’t what’s found at the intersection of ‘Vriska’ and ‘Serket’?”

You nod non-committedly.

“Well I realized that there aren’t even streets called ‘Vriska’ and ‘Serket’, so me and the mayor were making them, that way we can tell her what really is at the intersection of ‘Vriska’ and ‘Serket’,” Dave explains.

“So what the fuck is it?” You ask.

“What’s what?”

“What’s at the intersection of ‘Vriska’ and ‘Serket’?”

He pulls a large sheet of paper out of his sylladex.

“That’s for you to decide.”

You smile, and take the paper. Spiderbitch is going to be very insulted.

~

You finish your shitty masterpiece. It is a terrible drawing of you and Dave flipping off Vriska. Terezi cackles in the background, and Rose and Kanaya watch from afar. 

“Shit bro, that looks awesome!” Dave says.

“I figured your rotten pan would find this shit actually good,” You reply, attempting a smirk. You don’t think you’re actually smirking.

Dave chuckles at that. You wish you could hear him laugh for once.

“Alright, let’s just…” Dave trails off as he picks up your artwork, and tapes it to the can wall that he and the mayor built.

It’s so stupid. Your drawing holds no importance whatsoever, you’ll probably never even show it to Vriska. You probably only made it because you knew Dave would find it amusing.

You start laughing softly.

Seriously, everything you have been doing up to this point has been absolutely pointless. You’re not training, you’re not planning, you’re just indulging in your wrigglers fantasy where your best friend feels the same way about you, and by extension you are monopolizing all his time.

You realize how hard you’re laughing. It’s hard to stand up.

Dave looks at you, and you see him smile, actually smile. He starts laughing softly, before joining you in the all-out laughter. He had a nice laugh.

“This is so fucking stupid!” You manage to say.

“Holy shit it is!” Dave replies, and slings his arm over your shoulder to support himself. 

Dave is still openly laughing, and you notice how pretty his face looks like this, all happy and smiling. It’s nice. You’d like for him to smile like this more often. 

He’s looking at you, and while you’ve both stopped laughing, you’re still smiling. If this were a rom com, you’d expect you and Dave to kiss, like that would ever happen. Just because his face is getting closer and closer to yours doesn’t mean-

Oh shit his mouth is on yours.

You barely have time to register what’s going on and react to it before Dave stumbles away from you. He freezes, neither of you are smiling.

“Shit,” He says, and runs out the nearest exit.

You stand there, dumbfounded. Your lips still tingles from where he kissed you. 

Dave kissed you.

Dave fucking Strider kissed you then ran away.

You look at the mayor for guidance. He points to the hallway that Dave ran down. You realize that it doesn’t lead to his respite block. He’s probably panicking, he’s probably panicking a lot. The mayor’s right, you should go after Dave.

You run down the hall.

~

There are so many hallways, too many hallways. You think you’re lost. You don’t think you’ll find Dave. You stop running when you reach a cloning vat. You know Dave likes them, they remind him of the dead shit he used to preserve. It’s kinda gross in your opinion, but you think spending time with Dave has made you grow more accustomed to it.

You look around the room, it might have brought Dave enough comfort to warrant him stopping here. At least, you hope so.

A white tuft of hair, poking around a corner, brings your hopes up. You run over, and turn the corner to see Dave huddled in a ball shape, you think he’s shaking. It makes your blood pumper hurt to see him like this.

You sit down next to him, giving him enough room to run if he really needs to.

“Hey,” You say as softly as possible.

He turns his head to look at you, and that’s when you notice that his shades are gone. His beautiful red eyes are on full display. They’re really pretty. Unfortunately, they’re also bloodshot from crying.

You hold up your hand horizontally, hoping he gets the message that he can hold it. He looks at it, then places his hand on yours, and squeezes. Ow.

Luckily he doesn’t squeeze for too long, but he does pull your hand into his Strider-ball.

“This is diamonds, right?” He asks.

“Uhm,” Is he asking about quadrants? You think he’s asking about quadrants. “yeah, this is a pretty pale activity.”

“Back in cantown,” Dave starts, “what was that? What I did, I mean,” His voice sounds so small, like he’s genuinely afraid he’s messed something up. Does he think that quadrant blurring is bad? You thought you were pushing things.

“That was flushed,” You tell him, “Hearts.”

“Oh,” He replies, looking away from you entirely, “sorry.”

“Don’t be,” You say, “I’m the one who’s got feelings for you in every quadrant.”

“Seriously?” Dave asks, as he looks back at you. He sounds happy.

“Yup,” You reply, “I am the fool who cannot sort his own fucking feelings. It’s me.”

He smirks at you, but you can see it in his eyes that he’s actually smiling. You like no-shades-Dave.

“Maybe I have a thing for those sorts of fools,” He says as he scoots closer to you, pressing his side against yours.

“Maybe you should kiss me again.”

“Maybe I will.”

~

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you love your human boyfriend. Sometimes he thinks his brother is going to come and kill him, or you, for liking boys. All you can do to reassure him is to tell him that your whole planet despised the relationship you two had, but no one from there was going to kill you.

It doesn’t always work.You do your best to shower him in compliments, and you think he’s doing the same, but sometimes it’s just too much. Sometimes, all you can do, is hold his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos make my day :D


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